At the moment, my yoga practice appears to have split into two entirely seemingly incompatible personalities…

Half of me wants to lie on the floor exploring organic spirals and “responding to sensation.”

The other half wants to be told exactly when to inhale.

I appreciate that this makes absolutely no sense.

Because the two styles of yoga I’m currently most drawn to are complete opposites.

On one side, I’ve been spending time in the world of embodied movement.

This is a place where you are encouraged to:
“arrive in the body”
“follow sensation”
and
“explore what wants to emerge.”

No one is ever entirely sure what that means, but everybody nods like they do.

There are very few fixed poses.
No strict sequence.
No obvious right or wrong.

Sometimes the teacher gives you a cue and your body just… responds however it responds.

You move slowly. Freely. Intuitively.

At any given moment you may find yourself:
rolling on the floor
circling your shoulder in an unexpected direction
or making movements that would look deeply concerning to an outsider.

And .....I love it.

There’s something incredibly freeing about not trying to achieve anything. About listening instead of forcing. About moving from curiosity rather than performance.

It feels spacious. Creative. Human.

And then, at the complete opposite end of the spectrum:

Ashtanga.

Where absolutely nobody is exploring an organic spiral.

Here, we know exactly what’s happening.

You stand at the front of your mat.
You do the sequence.
The same sequence.
Every single time.

You are told:
where to stand
where to look
when to inhale
when to exhale
how many breaths to take

Five.

Always five. (Except when it's 10) 😂

Not “however many breaths your body is calling for today.”

Five.

And somehow…

I love this too.

Which is deeply inconvenient for anyone who likes a coherent identity.

Because Ashtanga is almost aggressively structured.

There’s no:
“What movement feels available today?”

The movement has already been decided.

Years ago.

And now you will repeat it.

There’s something almost beautifully unreasonable about that.

Ashtanga does not care whether you’re feeling emotionally expansive today.

You still have to do your standing poses.

You cannot interpretive-dance your way out of discomfort because your nervous system “needs softness.”

Ashtanga’s basic response to that would be:
“That’s lovely. Now hold the posture and breathe.”

And yet, after a while, the repetition becomes strangely calming.

You stop negotiating with yourself.

You stop wondering:
“What do I feel like doing?”

The practice is already there waiting for you.

And somewhere between the first sun salutation and the fifteenth forward fold, your brain finally shuts up for a minute.

It’s deeply structured.

And oddly freeing.

Naturally, both camps think the other one is slightly ridiculous.

The embodied people are looking at the Ashtangis thinking:
“That seems rigid.”

Meanwhile the Ashtangis are watching someone slowly undulate across the floor to ambient whale music thinking:
“…is this still yoga?”

And honestly?

Both sides probably have a point.

Embodied movement can sometimes drift into:
“I’m listening to my body”
when what you actually mean is:
“I refuse to do anything difficult.”

And Ashtanga can drift into:
rigidity
performance
forcing
completely ignoring pain in pursuit of “discipline.”

Different disguises. Same human tendency.

But when both practices are done well — really well — they seem to arrive in exactly the same place.

Presence.

Attention.

A quieter mind.

A feeling of actually being inside your own life instead of mentally reorganising your to-do list while pretending to stretch your hamstrings.

One gets there through freedom.

The other gets there through structure.

One removes rules.

The other removes choice.

And somehow both can leave you feeling more alive.

Which is mildly annoying, because I was hoping one of them was definitely wrong.

Instead, I appear to have developed two entirely different yoga personalities.

At this point, I’ve decided both are welcome.

Where do you sit, stand or undulate on the questions of Embodied or Ashtanga?