Ah, the joy of being a mysterious, invisible yogi! One of the most liberating aspects of attending the Cambridge Yoga Festival alone last weekend was the anonymity. I was like a yoga ninja, moving through the classes, undetected and unburdened by any preconceived notions.

I felt a sense of Harry Potter-like magic & invincibility, wrapped inside my cloak of invisibility, immersing myself fully in the experience without the burden of assumptions or judgments. I knew nobody and nobody knew me. Wife, mother, yoga teacher – no defining labels available. Floating freely like a yoga ghost. Buoyant and light in my secret identity. The heavy cloak of expectation shed.

I won’t pretend that I feel any pressure to be perfect. I don’t. Even the idea of perfection isn’t particularly attractive to me. But I do regularly feel pressure. My ego creates all kinds of embarrassing pressures that no self-respecting yogi ought to confess to in a public blog. As I confess these thoughts in words to you, I am repeating Cersei Lannister’s ‘shame’ as my mantra. I know, it’s a bit OTT. But:

- I want my skills and talents to be recognised.

- I want everyone who comes to my classes to love to yoga & think I’m a great teacher.

- I want to be interesting, entertaining, and creative.

- I want to execute flawless yoga poses.

Shhh, that’s all a secret, don’t tell anyone.

So, at this yoga festival, I had the freedom to be imperfect, to experiment, to wobble, to fall, to laugh and to execute yoga poses that may well not have been recognisable. And the freedom to do this without a worry in the world.

The anonymity created a space where I could embrace my vulnerability and explore new practices without the pressure to perform. It felt like a playful dance of discovery, unchoreographed and unscripted. I laughed at my clumsy attempts, cheered on others, and revelled in the collective spirit of exploration. I made friends, I talked to people, I got involved in philosophical discussions about yoga and mental health and what yoga is and isn’t.

I tried things I’ve never done before, and things that I’ve been too scared to try. Some of which came off and some of which didn’t. Things like:

Consciously connected breathing – loved it. When I was told that we were going to inhale & exhale with our mouth open for 45 minutes I didn’t believe for a second that this would be possible for me. 45 minutes passed as quickly as if I was asleep. And I wasn’t.

I imagine it’s the closest feeling you can have to taking drugs without taking drugs.

Yoga in the Park – this was such a fun class, led by someone who understood the value of humour, playfulness and being yourself. We bunny-hopped around our mats, pretending to be spooky Halloween trees dancing in the 45 mile an hour gusts of wind.

It’s been 35 years since I did a cartwheel. Up until the moment that I launched myself into it, I didn’t know I was going to do it, only that I’ve wanted to but my thinking brain up until that moment had always stopped me.

Rocket Yoga – It’s a bit like Ashtanga in that it follows a set sequence, but it has more inversions – handstands, headstands, arm balances. Absolutely loved it. Felt totally giddy with exhilaration for ages after. What an energetic roller coaster of a 75-minute practice that was.

I did my first forearm handstand (against a wall obvs). This is something I have never considered that I might be able to do at any time. And I’ve never been attached to the idea of achieving it. Now, the question is, if I can do that, what else will I be able to do at some point in the future? And what will you be able to do in the future? What a totally exciting and empowering thought. No need to place limits on ourselves.

In case you think I’m boasting, there were many more things that I can’t/couldn’t do. I can’t bind at all; chair twists are not my favourite; and - so far - side crow feels unlikely. And as for firefly……..

I don’t know if I could have allowed myself to feel this way without being invisible. Invisibility was my superpower, releasing me from the need to prove anything to anyone, particularly myself. I revelled in the knowledge that no one expected anything from me, and so I could set my own intentions, move at my own pace, and simply enjoy the journey.

The festival was a sanctuary, a place where I swam in the sheer joy of yoga, stripped of any external validations. It allowed me to experiment, to play, to be in the moment. It reminded me that the true essence of yoga lies not in the perfect execution of poses but in the unbridled expression of oneself.

As I ventured into each class with my secret identity intact, I felt a renewed connection to the essence of yoga – a union of mind, body, and soul. It was a powerful reminder that, beyond the roles we play and the expectations we carry, lies the unadulterated beauty of who we are, our real selves.

So, to all the yogis out there: find and embrace your un-self-conscious anonymity, cherish the freedom it brings, and remember that the most authentic journey of self-knowledge begins when you liberate yourself from the expectations of others and step into the uncharted waters of self-discovery. Namaste! 🙏✨

Love & cartwheels

Wally